Do You Love Me?

I couldn’t help but notice an adorable little girl and her grandfather that were sitting across from me at a Great Clip’s Salon while we were all waiting to get our hair cut.  The little girl was hugging a stuffed teddy bear her grandfather apparently just bought for her.  You could tell she loved it and was talking non-stop with her grandfather asking him question after question about “Charlie”..  Her grandfather politely was answering the questions while he was reading a magazine, not paying too much attention. 

Then came a statement that made us both look up and smile at each other above our magazines.  “Grandpa, I want to marry Charlie!”  The grandfather robotically said, “No you cannot marry Charlie.”

“But I love him...” said the little girl

“You have to marry a person,” said the grandfather

 “Then can I marry you?” said the little girl,

“I love you honey, but you cannot marry your grandpa, grandma would get jealous...” replied the grandfather.

“Then I want to marry you AND grandma!” said the little girl.

With this response both of us started laughing a bit. 

The grandfather replied, “Honey, you can only marry one person and we are too old…someday you will find a young man you love and you will marry”

“What if I love a lot of people?” asked the little girl

The questions went on and on and I could not help but feel for the grandfather as he struggled to answer all of them while reading his Time Magazine.  Was he correct in today’s “politically correct” world?  It made me glad I have two boys whom I have never have had this conversation with.  I projected forward to a time when I may have a little grandchild asking me the same questions and how I would respond to the marriage question.  Marriage may look a lot different then. 

As I feel myself getting older, and the rules and values that I and others before me grew up with eroding, I am conflicted.  The current debate over homosexual marriage and the “political spins” on it has become tiring and nauseating to me.  I definitely hear and understand the frustrations on both sides.  The “we are right and you are wrong” groups are just too righteous for my tastes.  Certain religious sects I believe need to look at the plank in their own eyes before passing judgment on the splinter in the eye of their fellow man.  At the same time, I do not equate the gay suffrage to slavery or perhaps Jews in Nazi camps.

I have dear friends and family members whom I love that are gay.  I certainly want them to be happy.  I see no reason for anyone living together in a loving relationship not to enjoy all the advantages and opportunities and be cheated out of the benefits of marriage.….however you will not see me putting and “equal” sign on my face book page.

In issues like this, I feel I must go my historical and Christian beliefs.  We tend to think that only society today knows what is best and discard what people living in the past thought of things.  Where sometimes history is improved, it is not the case many times.  I do think the knowledge of our historical past can make us wiser. .For century’s marriage has been between only a man and women.   Taking “religion” out if it, marriage is a social contract between two people giving them the ability and benefits to nurture children.  To reverse this, means we will probably at some time in the future reverse the other “rules” of marriage (incest, polygamy etc.).  Perhaps I would be okay with Polygamy…a “sister wife” could be beneficial.  However, I believe my wife would want an older sister wife who is a retired matron who cooks and cleans.  I would want a younger wife I think…perhaps 25 and very attractive….so I don’t think it would work. Plus I truly love my wife and don’t believe I could love another.     

My Christian belief states simply marriage is to be only between a man and women.  As a Christian, this is what I believe.  Never having an affinity for anyone with the same plumbing, I cannot imagine what it is like to be judged for being gay or to “walk” in their shoes.  My wife is Hispanic, and it really opened up my eyes to discrimination in simple things that before did not seem like discrimination to me. It was frustrating and demeaning.  So I truly believe as a Christian, compassion should be shown to not judge or condemn anyone.  As before, I feel I need to look at the plank in my eyes before judging anyone for the splinter in their eye.  I feel prayer is needed for ALL issues.  I believe that will open the eyes to all.

I do think that eventually gay people getting married will be commonplace and we will be debating the next group wanting rights of some type.  Whether you are for the issue or against the issue, let’s have compassion on all sides.  I am sure when I have grandchildren; I’ll be struggling to answer all the questions too.